The headaches back home!

2 years and I'm still waiting when we will be really having a break away from work and California. Since we were travelling between India, Malaysia and so on, we couldn't make it for the pre wedding photo shoot :( 

Mom kept getting phone calls from Sufy , the girl I've booked my package with , hmmm why cant Malaysians leave their email id  out so that I can catch them online. Life is so tough living abroad when you have things to do back home!

The paid bill :(

Another headache is on discontinuing the streamyx connection at home. It's 2 am and I've been hanging on phone trying to connect the inefficient TM customer service. To disconnect the internet, I have to be present in Malaysia, you mean anyone living out of  Malaysia have no rights to cancel their service signed on years ago ?  It's ridiculous and frustrating.Anyway keeping my fingers crossed I hope that by sending an authorization letter and a copy of my IC asking my brother to disconnect the line works.

 This is driving me nuts!!

Festival of Lights , Diwali

An auspicious day to look forward for all Hindus in the world....because it's time to light up our home with the light of joy and happiness ! It's Deepavali / Diwali joy.The Festival of Lights signify the victory of good over the evil within us…

As a child , I've always looked forward this festival. On this  festival day , everyone starts  waking up early in the morning before sunrise and having an oil bath… and the whole day, we will be in the festive mood… New dresses… Sweets… Bursting crackers… Watching the special TV programs and visiting friends home. Aah.. those days of childhood where we visit our grandma's home in Port Dickson.... she would do some traditional sweets like laddoos and ghee balls. Such a fun filled childhood. Diwali really means a lot for kids.

Whenever we speak or think about this festival, we would be getting the thoughts of above joy and happiness… In one side as we all are celebrating in the festive mood… there is another side of people that we have to think about…

Right now my  thoughts are on the other side of people , who are celebrating the same festival by just looking at the colorful lights in the sky…? Yes… Children in orphanages… Aged people in homes… Helpless men, women & children on roads… It is not that these people don’t want to celebrate the festival as we do… It is that they are in a situation that they cannot…and I can truly understand how they feel. The most beautiful thing in the world is sharing. I wish I could share all my joys and happiness and light up someone's life.... ! It hurt me the most when I first visited India , a scene which I've never seen in my life before. Do such scenes still exist in the world ? I could not just control my tears seeing small babies , ladies carrying infants and begging for a rupee. There are parents who've been abandoned by their own children. When everyone screams of joy and happiness , what do these people deserve loneliness and pains.... just looking at others...  I want to do something instead of feeling pity for them…when I get the right opportunity.

I am looking forward the real "Ananda Deepavali" ie Joyful Diwali where I can really share the happiness of lights with people who are less fortunate. I also cant wait to meet my family back in Malaysia and India. No festival is perfect without family members around us.

The words of Swami Sivananda have been ringing in my ears..... "All the lights of the world cannot be compared even to a ray of inner light of the self. Merge yourself in this light of lights and enjoy the bliss of the brightest of lights - God".


 Wishing everyone a very happy , prosperous and safe Diwali !

Amma....Mommy....Mom...being a Great Mother !

Parenting is a skill , this is what I've learnt throughout my life , I must admit that being a teacher back in Malaysia has taught me a handful of  knowledge on child psychology .There are ways of being a great Mom ! Discipline is the keyword , teach them that discipline is a form of  love.

1) Patience is everything. It’s easy to lose our patience, and infinitely more difficult to reign it in and redirect it toward a more positive route. Yet allowing our children to see us overly frustrated is never a best case scenario. Go for a walk, take a deep breath, count to ten… or 100. But practice patience from the beginning and you will likely find you have raised a patient child. Remember that children emulate what they see !

2) Reading session -  Make sure you read your daily newspaper in front of your child. You have every tool you need to help your children grow up smart. Endowing children with powerful vocabulary at the earliest possible time is critical to their cognitive development. Start when they are babies, and don’t stop just because they are suddenly able to read the words themselves. Reading with your child is not only a wonderful time for mutual bonding, it also helps to establish a habit that your children can carry forever. Read to them positive stories , inspire them with historical places or people. Try seeding the fruit of knowledge to your child at an early stage.

3) Time - Treasure  your time with your little ones. The years will turn to vapor soon enough. Today , almost all the moms are working full-time. This gets them so busy handling their own frustrations and doing their own things. Most of the people that I've known send their kids to baby sitters or leave them with grand parents ( especially in Asian countries ! ). Nothing can be compared to what a PARENT teach their kids. I have seen mothers who blame the grand parents for the discipline failure ! This is so wrong , no matter what , after work at the end of the day , mother / father must sit together with the child and ask whats going on his/her mind. This will not only build your relationship with your kid but also a signal that you care for the child. One should never miss seeing the child's growth !

4) Daddy - Treat dad with respect. If you show disrespect to your man , you are crushing a part of your child’s soul and damaging a bit of their future. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from, respect is always free.  Remember, children learn by example and you are their constant model. Show your son how to properly treat a woman and show your daughter what to look for in a man.

5) Attitude - Show good  behaviour. Don’t do things in front of your child that you wouldn’t want them to do.Never ever argue or fight in front of your child , the behavior will be registered  in your child’s eyes and mind. The same goes for all bad manners and negative attitudes like greed, laziness, making fun of others , anger, and the like. Be yourself, but be your best version as long as your children are watching. Show love and commitment to each other , definitely the child will grow up to be a good father / mother !

6) Give a chance. Children are often far more capable than what many adults allow themselves to believe. The earlier you start inoculating your child with independence, the more they will be able to help you and themselves to become more capable, well-rounded people. Yes, it can feel frustrating to take the time to teach a two year old to do something that you could do in a fraction of the time, but soon she will be three and have a strong skill set you can easily build upon. You can raise a child with a “Yes I can!” attitude, if you start with “yes you can” first. Dont keep feeding them , let them carry their plate and attempt their meal , yes they will mess up a little but at times we need to let them be and learn at young age. Let them do their own colouring.

7) Individuality. Each of us are unique, yet it is all too easy to project ourselves and our desires onto our children. This rarely does them or us any good. It’s okay to guide them in the right direction, but we should never try to mould our children into what we want at the expense of allowing their true selves to flourish. The best you can do as a parent is to instill your child with the best values you can until those valued are internalized, then stand back and wait for the tree to bear fruit. You want your child to be their best, but sometimes they have to find it themselves. Dont keep nagging to study , play or forcefully do something. Every child is blessed with a talent. Some are good in sports , music or science.... so identify what makes them to excel rather than making them to do what you want them to do.

8) Unity. Never allow your child to think they can come between you and dad. Unless there is blood or vomit involved, it is probably best to agree in front of the extra set of tiny eyes, and then settle your differences in private. Mom and Dad must always be a team and stand together with every decision. If you want your child to know they can’t penetrate the perimeter of your unity, you have to prove it. And on that note, it’s okay to say NO and mean it when you do. Don’t surrender to their whining or you are only teaching them that it is an effective means of getting their way.

9) Be human. Yes, almost all of us are required to work and no, we can’t always be attendant to our child’s every need. But we can do our best with the time we have, and never make our children feel as though they are a burden to our schedules. Make sure to set aside sacred time each day exclusively for them, and don’t allow anything frivolous to breach the significance of that time. Plan your time to spend with your child , be it running around the park , shopping , playing basketball or even cleaning your home. This will also discipline them to take care of themselves !

10) Be real. Just be yourself. Let your children see all sides of you. Be funny, strict, tender; affectionate, serious and vulnerable. By allowing your children to see all sides of you, you will be helping them to understand themselves infinitely more.

No list of  tips will make you a better anything, not without application placed behind the principles ! Do your best every day and if you fumble, do your best to start over tomorrow. The best tip, however, isn’t on the list above....use common sense and know that your children are watching everything you do. Though you might not realize it, you are the world to them. Do all that you can to make that world a pleasant place to live.

Beauty Tips....

These were the magical words of Audrey Hepburn......... simply love her !

For attractive lips, Speak words of kindness.


For lovely eyes, Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, Walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.


And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows !

Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi. Great soul.

“Generations to come will scarcely believe that such a one as this walked the earth in flesh and blood.” – Einstein

It all started on a fine night , when I sat with my mom and dad to watch Gandhi film ( Sir Richard Attenborough ) , I was only 4 years old then ! I clearly remember how my parents forced me to sit next to them and watch this movie of the century ! I have started liking Gandhi since then. I must say that in fact , Gandhi inspired me to  read Law  :) For the ever first time in my life , I toured  India in 2002. We're blessed to witness the spirituality , that's when I started telling my friends that India is a Land of  Miracle ! We're lucky enough to visit the Kanya Kumari district in  Tamil Nadu , India and see the famous Gandhi Memorial ( Gandhi Mandapam ). I fell in love with the portrait of a young Gandhi , whom graduated as a barrister ! I just adore him for his ways and teachings. Practicing  his teachings are definitely an accomplishment in life !

Gandhi’s teachings in our daily life ,  all his message about peace and non-violence ( Ahimsa )  is more pertinent than ever before today.

The six golden words or key lessons are :

1. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

This is possibly Gandhi’s most famous phrase and tells us that before we can go and change the world, we have to change ourselves.From the being, comes the doing and ultimately the having.So we now have the message – “Do the change you wish to see in the world”.


Focus on changing yourself and being the change you wish – and soon we can begin to look at the bigger picture and solve the world’s challenges.

There is this anecdotal story about how a mother came with her son to see Gandhi. She wanted Gandhi to tell her son to stop eating too much sugar as it was harmful for his health. He asked her to come back a month later by which time he himself had cut down on his own sugar intake.

The point is that before you can get anyone to take on your own teachings, you have to apply them to your own life. There are various phrases to reflect this message such as “practise what you preach” and “walk the talk”.

“Let your life be your message” – Gandhi

Is your life the message you want to give the world?


When will you be the change you want the world to be?


2. Reduce, reuse and recycle

“There is enough in the world for everyone’s need, but not for everyone’s greed” – Gandhi

Even in Gandhi’s time there was vast disparity in the world between the rich and the poor. He could see how the world’s resources were being pilloried to satisfy the excessive demands of the West whilst most people in the rest of the world were barely surviving.


3. Live a simple, minimalist life.

Gandhi lived a very simple, frugal life. He died with very few possessions and he preached simplicity and minimalism in all areas of life.

He also dressed simply and even persisted with his simple Indian loin cloth when he visited England and met the King. When asked if he was under dressed for a meeting with the King, Gandhi replied that the King had enough clothes on for both of them ! Minimalism is something I am beginning to apply in my life too. Start living a simpler minimalistic life from today – and you will release a lot of time and energy to bring more of Gandhi’s teachings into the world.


4. If no one walks with you, walk alone

Believe in your cause, follow your truth and stick to your journey even if you have to walk the path on your own. Gandhi at the end of his life was said to be heart broken with the partition of India as millions were killed and displaced. Even then, he still had a message for the world – it takes just one man to make a difference.

If no one responds to your call, go forward alone.


If no one talks to you, oh luckless one,


If everyone turns away from you in fear,


Reveal your thoughts and express your ideas to yourself.


If everyone leaves you while you are travelling a dangerous road,


If no one wants to look after you,


Walk on alone, on the road strewn with thorns, trampling on them with bleeding feet.


If no one shows a light, if in the dark stormy night everyone shuts their doors,


Use your rib as a torch, lit from the fire of thunder. – Rabindrantah Tagore


So anything and everything you do counts and will make a difference.


5. Get your power through humility

Gandhi was a very humble, down to earth, ordinary human-being but therein lay his power and authority. His power came from being very clear about who he was, his values and his mission. So the clearer you are about who you are and what you stand for,the more power you will exert in the world, whilst remaining humble and as down to earth as you wish. Power what I mean here is not the power that corrupts but one that changes the world and makes a positive contribution.

6. Start today

“The difference between what we do, and what we are capable of doing, would solve most of the world’s problems” – Gandhi

Believe that what you do matters, and that it will make a difference.

You can’t save the whole world single-handedly, and we can’t all be a Gandhi or a Mandela, but you can certainly make a difference to one person at a time. So look for ways to contribute. Ask yourself what special skill or knowledge you have that can solve a problem or make the best of a situation and that will help or support others.


Start small – and get started no matter what. They too started small one day at the beginning of their own life journeys.

So fear not – you already have and know enough – new skills will come for sure as you progress on your journey. And whatever you choose to do, it will make a difference.


The point is that everything we do matters and makes either a positive or a negative impact on everything around us.

You can start today to apply Gandhi’s message in your life, simply by focussing on this one question:-


How can I bring more love and peace into my life today?

Just know that every little bit helps and by you being more loving and peaceful, the rest of the world becomes more loving and peaceful too.


After all, we all have a “Gandhi” inside of us, just waiting to emerge.



What makes one person a Gandhi or a Dr Martin Luther King? Is it pure coincidence or do such inspirational historic figures have some special powers?

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify and vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as crazy, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs, Apple

(  The Salt Satyagraha was a campaign of nonviolent protest against the British salt tax in colonial India which began with the Salt March to Dandi on March 12, 1930 ).