Parenting is a skill , this is what I've learnt throughout my life , I must admit that being a teacher back in Malaysia has taught me a handful of knowledge on child psychology .There are ways of being a great Mom ! Discipline is the keyword , teach them that discipline is a form of love.
1) Patience is everything. It’s easy to lose our patience, and infinitely more difficult to reign it in and redirect it toward a more positive route. Yet allowing our children to see us overly frustrated is never a best case scenario. Go for a walk, take a deep breath, count to ten… or 100. But practice patience from the beginning and you will likely find you have raised a patient child. Remember that children emulate what they see !
2) Reading session - Make sure you read your daily newspaper in front of your child. You have every tool you need to help your children grow up smart. Endowing children with powerful vocabulary at the earliest possible time is critical to their cognitive development. Start when they are babies, and don’t stop just because they are suddenly able to read the words themselves. Reading with your child is not only a wonderful time for mutual bonding, it also helps to establish a habit that your children can carry forever. Read to them positive stories , inspire them with historical places or people. Try seeding the fruit of knowledge to your child at an early stage.
3) Time - Treasure your time with your little ones. The years will turn to vapor soon enough. Today , almost all the moms are working full-time. This gets them so busy handling their own frustrations and doing their own things. Most of the people that I've known send their kids to baby sitters or leave them with grand parents ( especially in Asian countries ! ). Nothing can be compared to what a PARENT teach their kids. I have seen mothers who blame the grand parents for the discipline failure ! This is so wrong , no matter what , after work at the end of the day , mother / father must sit together with the child and ask whats going on his/her mind. This will not only build your relationship with your kid but also a signal that you care for the child. One should never miss seeing the child's growth !
4) Daddy - Treat dad with respect. If you show disrespect to your man , you are crushing a part of your child’s soul and damaging a bit of their future. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from, respect is always free. Remember, children learn by example and you are their constant model. Show your son how to properly treat a woman and show your daughter what to look for in a man.
5) Attitude - Show good behaviour. Don’t do things in front of your child that you wouldn’t want them to do.Never ever argue or fight in front of your child , the behavior will be registered in your child’s eyes and mind. The same goes for all bad manners and negative attitudes like greed, laziness, making fun of others , anger, and the like. Be yourself, but be your best version as long as your children are watching. Show love and commitment to each other , definitely the child will grow up to be a good father / mother !
6) Give a chance. Children are often far more capable than what many adults allow themselves to believe. The earlier you start inoculating your child with independence, the more they will be able to help you and themselves to become more capable, well-rounded people. Yes, it can feel frustrating to take the time to teach a two year old to do something that you could do in a fraction of the time, but soon she will be three and have a strong skill set you can easily build upon. You can raise a child with a “Yes I can!” attitude, if you start with “yes you can” first. Dont keep feeding them , let them carry their plate and attempt their meal , yes they will mess up a little but at times we need to let them be and learn at young age. Let them do their own colouring.
7) Individuality. Each of us are unique, yet it is all too easy to project ourselves and our desires onto our children. This rarely does them or us any good. It’s okay to guide them in the right direction, but we should never try to mould our children into what we want at the expense of allowing their true selves to flourish. The best you can do as a parent is to instill your child with the best values you can until those valued are internalized, then stand back and wait for the tree to bear fruit. You want your child to be their best, but sometimes they have to find it themselves. Dont keep nagging to study , play or forcefully do something. Every child is blessed with a talent. Some are good in sports , music or science.... so identify what makes them to excel rather than making them to do what you want them to do.
8) Unity. Never allow your child to think they can come between you and dad. Unless there is blood or vomit involved, it is probably best to agree in front of the extra set of tiny eyes, and then settle your differences in private. Mom and Dad must always be a team and stand together with every decision. If you want your child to know they can’t penetrate the perimeter of your unity, you have to prove it. And on that note, it’s okay to say NO and mean it when you do. Don’t surrender to their whining or you are only teaching them that it is an effective means of getting their way.
9) Be human. Yes, almost all of us are required to work and no, we can’t always be attendant to our child’s every need. But we can do our best with the time we have, and never make our children feel as though they are a burden to our schedules. Make sure to set aside sacred time each day exclusively for them, and don’t allow anything frivolous to breach the significance of that time. Plan your time to spend with your child , be it running around the park , shopping , playing basketball or even cleaning your home. This will also discipline them to take care of themselves !
10) Be real. Just be yourself. Let your children see all sides of you. Be funny, strict, tender; affectionate, serious and vulnerable. By allowing your children to see all sides of you, you will be helping them to understand themselves infinitely more.
No list of tips will make you a better anything, not without application placed behind the principles ! Do your best every day and if you fumble, do your best to start over tomorrow. The best tip, however, isn’t on the list above....use common sense and know that your children are watching everything you do. Though you might not realize it, you are the world to them. Do all that you can to make that world a pleasant place to live.
Ratnakara : A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. A scrapbook of memorable experiences and journeys of my life....
